Times change...

I have always believed that siblings need time apart from each other. Particularly, time alone with each parent. Apparently, my boys have felt differently for 4 1/2 years. They have never enjoyed or understood 'time alone'. Even when they had to be separated for my sanity, they'd change their attitudes within 5 minutes and ask when they could be together again. 18months ago, their separation anxiety was so bad that Matthew was having meltdowns at the thought of being separated from Daniel when Daniel went to kindergarten. Every mention of kindergarten had Matthew breaking down in tears, and begging to get to stay with Daniel. This caused me so much anxiety that I prayed and searched for a solution. God Bless Belle Valley Elementary's Montessori program! Their schedule has two years of preschool+kindergarten in one room. Crisis averted! The boys would change schools, and still be in the same room for one year. My hope was that it would ease both boys through the transition to be together the first year, and that Matthew's anxiety would fade enough that he would be in familiar surroundings once Daniel moved up to the next room and into first grade. The switch went well last fall... with just a couple glitches, like when Matthew thought he was a kindergartener... (read about that here!)
We are approaching that time. We haven't really talked much about Daniel being in a different room, although when it is mentioned, I don't see any concern on Matthew's part... I think he knows he will be literally right next door, and I think there is a part of Matthew that will enjoy some of his own space. We've talked about being one of the 'older preschoolers' and Matthew does enjoy the idea of being somewhat in charge... He should be insufferable as a kindergartener next year!
So, in the past when I've mentioned the idea of 'one-on-one' time, or if anyone attempts to separate the boys and spend time with them alone, they have just been very confused. Like they suddenly lost an arm. It was uncomfortable, and they never really seemed to relax; most conversations were focused on trying to figure out where the brother was, and what the brother was doing if not with them, or what we could do so that the brother wouldn't be upset when they saw each other again... kinda strange, with a touch of heartwarming sweetness. Given that Matthew has a school event tomorrow, and Daniel would have to go be somewhere else, I wondered how this would go. Daniel seemed fine, since the alternative was (supposed to be) some A.Melissa time. Matthew however, said he didn't want to go to school, he wanted to be with Daniel. Upon further questioning, I discovered that it was more that Daniel got some Alyssa time. After much schedule juggling, we have made it possible for both boys to get some 'one-on-one' time with Alyssa. We shall see if they're still obsessed with their brother's activities and feelings during their separation. Report to follow.
I am just looking forward to some Mommy one-on-one with each boy. That's the best part!